She talked about how her partner never mentions her dead sibling, how she forgets and then wants to call her back, invocate her, remember and be in her sadness.
“Remember her absence” I say and she weeps.
She says when her sibling was alive she didn’t think about her everyday but when she did she would phone them, that can’t happen now, so what does one do? She says it’s important for her to connect to her sadness, sit and think about her and if she hasn’t given time for that the sadness build up inside her, the points of connection are important.
I have that too. How do we handle the unchanging situation of the absence, maybe by paying a particular attention, giving oneself the space to sit with the feelings?
Davina Kirkpatrick- presence of absence 